Remember

I sit on the floor of the Gurdwara and take it all in. Watching the screen above the kirtan players, I carefully sing the words displayed on the screen. I’m thankful for the transliteration and the translation. Everything here is foreign to me. I’m one of three Westerners present today, and the only Western woman.

As I re-adjust my legs, I see the word remember on the screen. For some unknown reason it jumps out at me as I continue to sing. I feel good when I’m here. It’s the kind of feeling you get when you’ve returned home after a long trip.

My eyes remain focused on the screen above, but my mind begins to move inward. I think it’s strange that I feel so at home here. I shouldn’t, right? I’m not India-born. I don’t speak Punjabi or Hindi. I wasn’t born a Sikh. I didn’t even know a single Sikh a year ago. I admit that I feel a little conspicuous, but what I don't feel is uncomfortable.

I hear "Remembering" whispered in my left ear. I turn, delighted to identify another English speaker on the women's side of the room. Only no one is speaking into my ear. Confused, I look across the room to find that everyone is in their place. I wonder if someone is playing a joke on me. As much as I am confused, deep down inside, I know what's going on. 
I'm not here to debate reincarnation or to teach you about the three-fold nature of the soul. I'm not interested in getting scientific about memory or delving into semantics. I simply want to share what I know about memory from my own personal experience and how that relates to my experience at Gurdwara that day. 

There are two main kinds of memory, Everyday Memory and Soul Memory. Everyday Memory originates in this lifetime and is recalled in this lifetime. The minute I was born I started to create these memories. Everyday Memory is used when I'm trying to find those lost keys, or trying recall my twelfth grade math Teacher's name. The least useful and least used memories are lost as they age. So I'm not likely to remember what class I had for 2nd period, in 8th grade.

Soul Memory originates in previous lifetimes and is recalled in this lifetime. Soul Memory is not as easily accessed. But once we are ready for it, it can be triggered. It may be triggered by an event, a person, a place, or an object. It may come back in bits and pieces (this is usually the case), or it may come back all in one piece. Soul Memory includes information about our past lives, and our current life and our life's purpose. Nadi Leaves and Akashic Records can be used to jump-start or augment this process.

Now, on to something you may not know about me. That voice that said "Remembering"?  It's been talking to me since I was a small child. Up until a few years ago, all it ever did was warn me of danger. "Stay clear of the bucking horse", "A man will attack you on your way home from work", "A man will hold you at gunpoint", "You will lose your house to fire - be careful!" The voice never gives me a time or place. Consequently, I have lived much of my life on high alert. 

My family recognizes that I'm 'different'.  When I share a dream, vision, or warning, they listen.  Even my Ex is a believer - and he doesn't even like me. This gift (I've always called it a curse) has always been trustworthy. Who or what it is, I don't know exactly.  While, in the past I only got warnings, things have changed. Now I'm just as likely to get a strong impression, a vision, hear a sound, or hear the familiar voice. And I'm hearing more than warnings. Like this "remember" that has disturbed my time at Gurdwara.

Tamil Nadu is part of my Soul Memory. Maybe Sikhs are too. Maybe I feel like I’m returning home, because I am? But is it the Gurdwara, Sikhs themselves, or the culture of India? Just then, "Remember" is spoken rather loudly in my right ear, causing me to almost jump. I quickly turn around, determined to see the spirit speaking to me. But I see nothing. I feel nothing - there is no energy that does not belong here. And that's because that voice is my Higher Self - my Soul Memory, ordering me to remember. But remember what? Where I put my keys this morning? Remember who I am/was? What I am/was? How about what my purpose is in this lifetime?

Soul Memory can answer a lot of questions. But it's not going to hand me all the answers all at one time; it'll give me bits and pieces, like a puzzle, as I'm ready for them. I think it's important to know about your past only if it's integral to your successful future. You can't move forward in life, if you are facing backward. I know I ask a lot of questions about everything - particularly about things found only in my Soul Memory. I desperately want this information, yet it scares me. But I'm more terrified of not seeking answers, because I know my spiritual future depends on them. I know this may sound crazy to you. I'm not crazy. And that's kinda scary too. 

Just then, Gurprasad begins. Who can possibly dialog with their Higher Self while receiving the Guru's Blessings? God has surely heard my frustration and sent help.