How Sikhi Found Me

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

A common question I get is “How did you find Sikhi?” Actually, Sikhi found me... by way of a Shaman. 

During a 9-month course I was taking in Austin, a Shaman introduced me to a mantra. Aad Guray Nameh. I didn’t know where the mantra originated or what it meant, other than it was “protective”. I was resistant at first, but followed the Shaman’s instructions to sing the mantra daily. I found this practice oddly soothing and comforting.

When I returned two weeks later for our next class, the Shaman assigned another mantra and revealed their origins: Sikhi.

I learned a few more mantras over the next month and began listening to kirtan. My curiosity about Sikhi grew. I studied Sikh beliefs for several months before I was ready to visit a Gurdwara. Gurdwara Nishkam Seva - Irving (where I now serve) is just 2 miles from my home. I’ve been a long-time resident of Irving since 1978, yet never knew we had a Gurdwara in our city.

Since my “dance with death” a few years prior, I had been looking to have a more active spiritual experience. I wanted to have that personal experience with God that so many on spiritual journeys seem to yearn for. Much to my surprise - that happened very soon after I came to Nishkam Seva - Irving.

I quickly began doing seva whenever I could - and absolutely loved it. My relationship with sound, Sikhi, the Sangat, and most importantly: the Guru... grew. 

I tried Kundalini Yoga, and although I thought it was a great physical practice for my body, it didn’t have the same spiritual effect on me as going to Friday and Sunday services at Gurdwara, studying Gurbani, singing classical raag, or doing seva.  After <6 sessions, I stopped going. 

About a year into my journey into Sikhi, I spent the summer teaching a Bhai Sahib English and doing housework seva, in exchange for lessons in classical raag, Sikh culture, and Indian cooking. 

I felt called into ministry, but wasn’t sure in what capacity. I knew it would involve singing and sound. The obvious thing was singing Shabads. While I was encouraged by the Sangat, it didn’t feel exactly right for some reason.

True Callings call you - not the other way around. Singing from the stage wasn’t what I was called to do. Singing or chanting from the manji seemed like something for someone else to do... like a Bhai Sahib. But that’s exactly what I felt called to do. 

I stopped singing kirtan with the Bhai Sahibs when the Bhai Sahib (who was my teacher) moved away. And although I felt as though my soul was missing a vital part of itself... it was quickly soothed with learning to sing my first Nitnem Bani. The connection I had with the Guru was indescribable... the love... I absolutely knew I was called to do this.  I wasn’t sure if that was a role, what that seva was called, or what I should do next. So I shared my feelings with two people - my husband and a friend. Even though they supported me, I kept my secret to myself.

Two months later, an opportunity to do Sukhasan seva two nights a week came up - I accepted. After a few months, it turned into every night. Eventually daily Prakash was added as well. I also enrolled in the Sikh Missionary College - Ludhiana. After I took Amrit, an announcement was made to the Sangat (January 2019) that I was doing the Granthi seva, and was training to be a Granthi. 

It’s been five months and we now have a Bani Practice Group that meets at 7pm for Reharas (followed by Sukhasan) and 7:30am (Saturday) for Prakash (followed by JapJi Sahib and Jaap Sahib).  These services are full services, but at a slightly slower recitation speed, and include training to do all parts of the service itself. Regular Prakash with the same two morning Banis (full speed) is weekdays at 8:30am. 

So that’s how Sikhi called to me through a Shaman. And how the ministry called me through a Nitnem Bani (Sohila) to be a Granthi (and not a Kirtanee).

I won’t tell you it’s been easy - it hasn’t. True growth requires hard work. There are ups and downs. The personal relationship I have with the Guru/God is worth it (a hundred times over). I am blessed beyond measure with my Sangat family, seva, and self - all of whom I love.

WaheGuru Ji